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Health

Why Do Women Commit Adultery!

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Last updated: Apr 23, 2019, 11:37 IST
By Ankur Sharma
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Why Do Women Commit Adultery!
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Studies show that infidelity rates are increasing across the world. Research by Psychology Today and other leading publications shows women cheat as much as men. Across India infidelity is no longer a crime. This means a woman who is unhappy in a marriage in India can find a lover outside marriage without fear of legal repercussions.

The rate of infidelity between men and women isn’t too different; however, men and women cheat for different reasons. Men cheat because they feel threatened. By finding a lover outside his marriage, a man gets a boost in confidence. Women are likely to cheat if they feel unappreciated, ignored, or neglected by their partner. In a recently concluded sample, 20% of men and 13% of women admitted to cheating. Unlike men who cheat because they’re driven by physical urges, women cheat for emotional reasons and to find emotional fulfilment. Interestingly, a Rutgers University study revealed 68% of women who cheated did so because they were in an unhappy marriage while 44% of men said they cheated for the same reason.

While men and women cheat for different reasons, all women who cheat don’t necessarily do so to meet emotional needs. The results of a Gleeden survey in India showed 77% of Indian women cheated on their husband because their marriage had become monotonous. Finding a partner outside marriage allows such women to add excitement to their lives. The Gleeden survey also revealed that 72% of Indians who had been unfaithful didn’t regret their decision to cheat. Clearly, Indian mindsets are evolving by becoming more accepting of lifestyles that aren’t traditional. Notably, the Gleeden survey shows in India, gays, and lesbians trapped in traditional marriages are finding same-sex partners in growing numbers. Since Article 377 was revoked, Gleeden revealed there has been a 45% increase in same-sex encounters among married people.

Gleeden revealed that 7 out of 10 women cheated on their husbands because he wasn’t involved in domestic chores. Married women expect to be treated as equal partners. When a husband helps her look after their children and does household work, it strengthens the bond his wife shares with him. On the other hand, a neglectful husband is likely to harm the bond between him and his wife.

While infidelity occurs even in smaller towns and cities, according to Gleeden, India’s most unfaithful women live in large metros including Bangalore, Mumbai, and Kolkata. Modern lifestyles can strain even a healthy marriage. While close familial ties serve as a safety against high rates of infidelity in tier 2 and tier 3 Indian cities, their absence in large Indian cities leads many married women to find a lover outside marriage. Importantly Gleeden revealed that flirting with other people can actually strengthen the bonds of marriage. In the survey, 4 out of 10 women revealed flirting with a stranger actually led to greater intimacy with their husband. Hence infidelity is therapeutic and can strengthen a marriage.

While many women who’ve never committed adultery first do so after registering on an extramarital dating site, Gleeden’s survey revealed that 31% of Indian women who cheat had done so earlier with a neighbour. Certainly, many women who register on Gleeden to commit infidelity aren’t in uncharted water. There may even be a genetic predisposition to cheating. The Gleeden survey revealed 46% of unfaithful wives were raised in a family where one parent cheated. The fact is that sexual behaviour between husband and wife is shaped by the husband and wife and their parents as well. Gleeden’s survey illustrates this clearly.

Single women tend to put out later than married women who cheat according to Gleeden. 50% of unfaithful women go to fourth base on the second date highlighting the fact they are sexually adventurous and confident. A married woman on an extramarital dating site is likely sexually uninhibited, confident, and has sexual prowess. Concerning men who are unfaithful, 17% have a separate bank account they use to manage expenses related to their extramarital affair.

In double income households in large metropolitan cities, it’s common for husbands and wives to take business trips. Gleeden revealed that of its registered members, 52% of women and 57% of men have already cheated during such trips.

Since infidelity was legalized in India there has been an increase in the number of married women searching for lovers online. On Gleeden, the leading extramarital dating site in India, 30% of members are married women. The majority of women registered on Gleeden are between the ages of 34-49, and on average women, members are significantly younger than men. An important reason why women registered on extramarital dating sites are younger than men is they are searching for a man to father a child. Because women go through menopause in their mid-40s, if they want to have a child they have to do so when they’re relatively younger than men. Younger women are also more likely to seek partners on extramarital dating sites because they’re attractive enough to attract men.

Studies by Gleeden reveal that, in India, cheating isn’t restricted to metro cities. Many members of extramarital dating sites live in tier 2 and tier 3 cities where taboos against infidelity, despite its legalization, are strong. Smaller cities in the countries hinterland are generally very conservative, however, societal taboos there are breaking as men and women register on extramarital dating sites like Gleeden.   

Members on extramarital dating sites tend to be very active on the sites. Consider that Gleeden has 500,000 members and 25% of them were active during the last month. Clearly members on sites like Gleeden haven’t registered themselves just for a thrill or as a novelty, in reality, 34% of online encounters on Gleeden in India lead to a date within 10 days. Members on Gleeden are usually serious about having an extramarital encounter. This indicates that societal taboos against infidelity are breaking down and men and women are searching for intimacy and sex outside marriage despite cultural taboos.

While outside India the numbers of members on extramarital dating sites is in the millions, in India where familiarity with technology is low and societal taboos persist, the numbers are in the hundreds of thousands. Importantly, while a significant number of women registered on extramarital dating sites live in tier 2 and tier 3 cities, the majority of women members live in tier 1 cities where anonymity is easier and cultural taboos are their weakest.

Gleeden, the leading extramarital dating site in India, is chosen by 48% of women who’ve decided to have an extramarital affair. Women prefer to meet men on extramarital dating sites because they offer safety, privacy, and security that is absent in real life. Before going on a date with a man they’ve met on an extramarital dating site, women are granted ample time to judge the person. If a woman feels the man potentially compatible, she may decide to take the relationship forward. If she senses red flags she can easily terminate all contact.

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Ankur Sharma Apr 23, 2019, 11:37 IST
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